Subscribe to a short video series offering practical tips for growing as a husband. (3) In what sense is the wife a weaker vessel? * It's interesting to compare the church to the first bride in the Bible, Eve. Should Images of God Be Allowed in the Church? They help their. If someone truly loves you, you will know it and feel it. Nick Batzig is the pastor of Church Creek Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Charleston, North Carolina, and an associate editor for Ligonier Ministries. Amen (2 Peter 3:18). 7:3). 2. This will stop anything from coming in the way of your prayers (The Jerusalem Bible). Twice at least, the men referred to as the audience here are called young men and may not yet be married (Proverbs 7:7; 20:29). 7. Before we can be godly husbands, we must be courageous. Furthermore, we must also grasp how a husband can and should honor his wife as the weaker vessel. And if youre married, women, do your best not to be quarrelsome and contentious. 105 The first term, true knowledge, is not the exact term, but the same root with an intensifying prefix. Christian husbands must look upon their wives in the light of their ultimate possession and their present status as joint heirs of this possession. Instead, He became the servant and the Savior of men: 4 Do not [merely] look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Ephesians 5:22-24 says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. If we are to understand and obey Peters teaching we must first understand what Peter means when he refers to the woman as the weaker vessel. Its a critical quality for couples because the foundation of successful communication is being able to truly listen to each other. 103 Luke 1:77; 11:52; Romans 2;20; 11:33; 15:14; 1 Corinthians 1:5; 8:1, 10, 11; 12:8; 13:2, 8; 14:6; 2 Corinthians 2:14; 4:6; 6:6; 8:7; 10:5; 11:6; Ephesians 3:19; Philippians 3:8; Colossians 2:3; 1 Timothy 6:20; 1 Peter 3:7; 2 Peter 1:5, 6; 3:18. 5:25-29). How to Respect Your Husband: 7 Helpful Hints - What Christians Want To Know Love your neighbor as you love yourself (especially the closest neighbor) doesnt show up first in the New Testament. In spite of the fact that I lacked many of the fundamental skills to make a marriage work, the license was granted. 7). What Should Be the Husband's 'Role' in Marriage? - FamilyLife This submission should be grounded in love and respect. Live in a tiny room on your roof with your parents if you have to before you do that. For they say, His letters are weighty and strong, but his personal presence is unimpressive [literally, weak], and his speech contemptible (2 Corinthians 10:10). A godly husband should commit to nurturing intimacy and affection with his wife. The Bible Speaks Today Series. 2:10-13); he carries our burdens and sorrows (Matt. Further evidence in support of this emphasis on Scriptural knowledge can be seen in Peters description of our condition before salvation as being ignorant:. First, we are to live with our wives in the knowledge that we are to subordinate our own selfish desires to the benefit and blessing of our wives, as Christ did for the Church. "It takes a strong man to put his own needs and desires aside for his wife.". In 1 Thessalonians 4:4 Paul seems to use the term vessel in reference to the human body. We are all to live together in unity and harmony: (A Song of Ascents, of David.) And yes men, taking care of the kids IS work. Peter is applying a more general principle to the relationship of a husband and his wife in marriage. And many times, his wife is the chief operating officer. Scripture makes it clear that a wife should voluntarily submit to her husbands loving leadership, and that doing so helps him fulfill his responsibilities as a true Godly husband. Just what is this weakness to which Peter refers? Some people cherry pick Bible verse that make it sound like woman should always submit to their husbands every wish and desire, no matter what. Likewise, cherish and care for your wife. He is working diligently for his wife and children. The Christian husband seeks to discover the weaknesses of his wife, not so that he may use these to his advantage but to employ his strength in compensating for her weakness. Our Lord did not cling to His elevated status over men and demand that men serve Him. It takes a strong man to put his own needs and desires aside for his wife. Philippians 2:3 says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (New International Version). Peter mentions several specific aspects of this knowledge. No matter how long youve been married, now is the time to develop a pattern that can work in your marriage. All of these things must, of course, be pursuedin the context of our own relationship with Christ. However, life in this selfish and fallen world necessitates such a command. In a sense, he is the chief executive officer of the corporation. First, it is my conviction that the text is best explained and applied as rendered in its most strictly literal fashion. I have only recently begun to appreciate this area. Dont say things out of anger, hate, or from a mean place no matter what else might be going on. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also [does] the church, 30 because we are members of His body. Fourth, I define the term to live together with as it is employed in the Greek translation of the Old Testament (the Septuagint). Then your prayers will not be hindered (The New English Bible). Christian Men: 13 Ways How a Husband Can Serve His Wife Answers to questions on donations, financial policies, Crus annual report and more. In chapter 2, Peter turned our attention to the Lord Jesus Christ as the model servant, whose silent and sacrificial suffering brought about our own salvation. How A Husband Should Treat His Wife - SermonCentral Although the culture of that day and ours tolerates divorce, Peter instructs Christian husbands to remain in their marriage. He doesnt let people or things pull his loyalty away from his wife. Help others in their faith journey through discipleship and mentoring. A provider is one who anticipates and does the strategic planning for the household. Chivalry is. My wife and I have counseled a number of couples preparing for marriage, but only recently have I begun to warn husbands to be careful to use their authority in such a way as not to force or pressure their wives to do something contrary to her convictions. Brothers, we mustlearn to live out of our union with Christ and to listen to all that his word teaches us about our responsibilities as husbands if we are to ever truly care for the needs of our wives. Image (left side): Decorative urn with title for the book of Acts in Codex Alexandrinus. What should be a Christian's response to a lack of sex in marriage (a If we were keenly aware of them, they would not be the problem they are. For the husband is the head of . While we will never be perfect, God gives us tips on how to be the best wives we can be. It is where counsel may need to be sought from others. Respect does not mean you have to tolerate everything that your husband wants. How Do You Love Your Wife Like Christ Loves the Church? Peter sets down two reasons why a Christian husband should honor his wife. I dont know if it is possible for someone to hate folding laundry as much as I hate folding laundry. One of the things that has not often been pointed out about Proverbs 31 is that it actually tells us quite a number of things about the godly husbandand does not speak merely about the godly wife. A godly husband respects his wife. Lack of respect makes the desire to love dwindle. They speak highly of their wives, especially when their wives arent around. The Sadducees of Jesus day (and I suspect many other Jews) thought heaven was going to simply be a continuation of things the way they have been on earth. P. 224. (Eph. VI, p. 110. Wrapped up in that definition of what it means to be a man is the idea of courage. But listening isnt an innate ability all people possess. In Christ, "whoever would be great among you must be your servant" ( Matthew 20:26 ). Fifth, I understand that this verse indicates the wife in view is a Christian and that the prayers referred to are the prayers of the husband and the wife.101. They indicate that just as the example of our Lord is the pattern for slaves and Christian wives, it is also the pattern for Christian husbands. Isaiah 62:5 appears to merge the idea of taking a wife and consummating it with a sexual union. Ten Ways in Which a Christian Man Treats His Wife - Jeff Riddle Peter has been explaining how the Christians hope changes his perspective on suffering.108 The Christians hope makes him an alien and a stranger on this earth. If a man doesnt treat his wife right, I dont want to hear him talk about Christianity. Companionship A Christian wife should be her husband's friend. Summary: The Biblical way a husband is to treat his wife. We are to minister to the weaknesses of one another: 1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not [just] please ourselves. A loving husband will sing the praises of his wife in public (unless she is adamant that she doesnt like it when he does so). The Father is the One who promotes the glory of the Son (see Philippians 2:3-11). Live in another country building relationships and ministries with eternal impact. He can guide us to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Treating anyone with care is something we should do as Christians, but its incredibly important for a family environment. Consider these texts: 27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong (1 Corinthians 1:27). And this could lead to other problems like lack of intimacy, doubt, jealousy and many more. Let us consider each of these areas of honor. This, in my opinion, is a secondary matter, while biblical knowledge is primary. But what does Peter want us to understand by this word knowledge? The wife, of course, should not be seen as an enemy. There were certain circumstances in which it was allowed. Covenant-keeping in marriage is obliged by covenant-keeping with God. Explore resources to help you live out your life and relationships in a way that honors God. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father (Colossians 3:12-17; see Ephesians 4:1ff. Husbands should be getting to know their wives better and better day by day as they love them, share with them, engage in honest communication, and become deeply intimate. A Husband Mistreats His Wife When He Responds in Anger. And those references raise a question: Is a husband encouraged to separate himself from such a wife? 7:7); he serves us in his church (Mark 10:45; Luke 12:37; John 13:1-17); he speaks well of us, even though weare sinful and often wander (Song of Songs 1:15; 4:1, 7); he is intimate with us in communion (John 13:25; 21:20); and he is open with us about all of his and his Fathers works (Matt. (8) Elsewhere, submission is called for on the part of a subordinate to his or her superior. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And so let us beware of looking only to our mate to learn what their true needs are. A godly husband doesnt put himself in positions where he will be tempted. We must meditate often on the fact that Jesus has done all of these things for us as the Heavenly Bridegroom of our souls. My soul has a holy (and, often,an unholy) hatred of it. In that extremely complex and, at times, hard to understand section of the apostle Pauls letter to the Corinthians, we come across thecomparison between the married and theunmarried (1 Cor. I am not even certain that one couple remains. Make sure that you pay attention to what your spouse is saying or sharing. Some unique features of Peters instructions to husbands in verse 7 need to be recognized: (1) This is the only instance in Peters discussion of submission thus far in which a reciprocal obligation is specified. Honor often has to do with value, but it also has to do with importance. Learn the basics of what Christians believe. Before we can be godly husbands, we must be courageous. For example: But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. If so, what is the abuse, and how does Peters instruction directly deal with it? in 1971. What effect should they have on us when we read them? (2) In the command to dwell with them according to knowledge, is the emphasis on living with or on according to knowledge, or both? Because of this, its hard to not show her respect. Join the millions of viewers discovering content and creators on TikTok - available on the web or on your mobile device. Not only is the husband to live with his wife according to knowledge, he is also instructed to grant honor to his wife. 15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. God tells us that we are incredibly worthy to our family, and we should strive to live up to those expectations He places on us. Its easier, its more comfortable, its more peaceful to just go up on the roof and get away from this nagging and quarreling wife, from this contention. Be there for your husband. This doesnt mean that he will make lots of money; but it does mean that his priority is to provide for his own (1 Tim. The close connection with the description of the wife as the weaker partner favors the specific sense: the husband must dwell with his wife as one who knows her needs, who recognizes the delicacy of her nature and feelings. 5:25-28 "HOW A HUSBAND SHOULD TREAT HIS WIFE". She must be my priority. Hello, Pastor John! 33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and [let] the wife [see to it] that she respect her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33). The one who is weak in evangelism is most apparent to the evangelist. He will be patient with her when she seems to be foldingunder the pressures of life. As one looks at the various translations, one sees how much difference there is in the way the expression is understood. Regardless of the suffering a husband might think he endures at the hand (or tongue) of his wife, Peter says, stay with her.. You should be striving to be more like Christ each day, not only because you are a Christian but also because you want to be the best version of yourself you can be for your husband and family. The suffering we experience in this life is short and sweet compared to our eternal glory, especially when we understand that our suffering benefits us, glorifies God, and may lead to the salvation of others. In Ephesians 5, the husband is to imitate Christs relationship to the church by his relationship to his wife. Here are some Bible verses for this hint: Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.". Reflecting Jesus together for the good of the city. It simply says that in the Christian marriage, some matters are governed by mutual submission, while others are governed by the submission of the wife to the authority of her husband. The term vessel is used in various ways. Fifth, somehow it is mistakenly assumed that the spiritual equality of the husband and the wife wipes out the necessity for the submission of the one mate to the other. A godly husband respects. A Christian wife should live with a difficult husband so that he is attracted to Christ by her behavior. Sixth, I understand the text which most literally translates the original text of 1 Peter 3:7 is the King James Version, which should be outlined as on the following page: Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Christian husbands, therefore, cannot look on their wives as unbelievers do, for they look upon their wives only in terms of the present time and culture. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives [ought to be] to their husbands in everything. When the first brother dies, the second, who lives nearby, is to take the widow as his wife in order to raise up seed for his deceased brother. 2. All Rights Reserved. Whether that be of the man or of his wife is a matter of discussion in this particular instance, but it is not crucial for our study. When I applied for a marriage license a year after I graduated from college, all I had to do was pay a fee. Is this a warning to men in being wise in selecting a wife? Every gift is DOUBLED up to $50,000 to minister to military families. It certainly can happen, for the Bible indicates the wife can make life miserable for her husband. This does not at all suggest we should not listen carefully and sensitively to our wives or to other believers. The Bible tells us, Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect (1 Peter 3:7). After three years of dating Mary Ann, we began talking about marriage. How and why does the husband give her honour as a weaker vessel? I have never met a woman who didnt long to have a husband she could trust. A godly man is a great listener because He puts his wifes needs first. So far, we have looked at how husbands should treat their wives. 31:31). A man may not be a vocational theologian, says Doug Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage., But in his home, he needs to be the resident theologian.. Reading the Scriptures and praying together is so important. If I could rewind my marriage and start this practice earlier, I would do it in a second. Make a habit of listening to each other. EPH. In these marriages, couples allow God to guide them. Peter speaks here of the relationship of a Christian husband and his believing wife. Sometimes it is not help that is needed, but admonition. When the Bible is read in its entirety, we can begin to truly understand what it means to be a proper Christian wife. These actions are subtle, but devastating. It is only through union with Jesusin his death and resurrectionthat you will ever be able to begin to love and care for your wife in these ways. 1. Fifth, somehow it is mistakenly assumed that the spiritual equality of the husband and the wife wipes out the necessity for the submission of the one mate to the other. Christian hope is foundational to a Christian marriage. While praying one night, things became crystal clear: Mary Ann had become an idol in my life. The noun honor is found here in 1 Peter as well as in 2:7 and then in 2 Peter 1:17. In the end, God should always be at the center of any marriage. We see another illustration of how we honor those who are weaker in the Scriptures in Romans 14 (also see 1 Corinthians 8-10). 7 Marks of a Godly Husband | How to Be a Godly Husband to Your Wife What we believe about the gospel and our call to serve every nation. Put simply, after our love for God, we must love our wives more than anything on earth. Learn to understand and resolve the most common disagreements in your marriage. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:25-28a). The wife has a special ability to lift their husband up to become all he is meant to be. 6 Ways a Christian Husband Cherishes His Wife 101 This is opposed to the view that the reference is only to the husbands prayers. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts [which were yours] in your ignorance (1 Peter 1:14). There was therefore no need for Peter to command wives as he does husbands. God has given a believing husband his wife so that he mightshepherd her soul to glory. Useful Marriage Therapy Tips for Christian Couples I understand Peters words to include the sexual dimensions of marriage.106 From the use of this expression (to dwell together with) in the Old Testament (Septuagint), I understand Peter to be referring not only to the fact that the husband lives with his wife, but that the husband persists in fulfilling his responsibilities as a husband, which includes the sexual intimacy the husband is expected to maintain with his wife. Being a noble woman means holding yourself up to the higher standard all Christians do. 5:25-29 ). Weakness is also used in a more general way in the New Testament, which I think is more in line with Peters meaning. 5:29; Col. 3:19 ). Reaching students and faculty in middle and high school. In the world, men use their strength to their own advantage and to the disadvantage of the weak. Here are seven basic biblical ways that the married man can seek to please his wife: Whether this occurs one-on-one or in the context of family worship, a godly husband will seek towash his wife with the water of the word and to lead her to the throne of grace that they might together receive grace and mercy to help in time of need. 4 Reasons God Supports You Having More Sex With Your Husband. Respect is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, because it sets the basis for everything else. When it comes to love, the Bible is mostly filled with wisdom for husbands and wives, many of these same principles can be applied for husbands and wives on their marriage journey. It shouldseem strange for us to find the apostle Paul commanding husbands with the following admonition:Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her (1 Cor. We confess our sin to him and ask him for grace to grow in these areas. But God reminds me, You do the right thing even if for the moment it doesnt make her happy.. Here are five useful marriage therapy tips that can help improve your marriage. Jesus did not back off when the disciples reasoned this way. Loyalty is vital to a happy, healthy, safe and lasting marriage. I know Gods will is for a man and woman to stay together for life. In a similar fashion, when the relationship between a husband and his wife is strained, it hinders our communion and fellowship with God, and thus the prayer life of a couple is paralyzed by the sin of one or both partners. But now Peter shows how the Christian husbands hope should change his attitudes and actions toward his wife. Those who are married have apreoccupation with their spouse. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself [being] the Savior of the body. In 25 years of marriage, I still run into the same problem. Stylos is the blog of Jeff Riddle, a Reformed Baptist Pastor in North Garden, Virginia. This forces Christian husbands to askthe question, What does it look like to biblically care about the needs of my wife? This is a question that I feel as though I am just beginning to learn how to answer eleven years into marriage. Husbands, 8 Admonitions to Love Your Wife - Ligonier Ministries This is where the entire body of Christ may begin to play a very necessary and needed role. The principle thrust of Peters command to husbands, therefore, is this: Husbands, keep on living with your wives in accordance with that knowledge which you now have as Christians. Peter's point is that godly conduct is a powerful witness, much more powerful than words without conduct. What Is the Bible Saying in 1 Corinthians 11 about Head Coverings. Third, I understand the term knowledge to refer, first and foremost, to the knowledge which comes to believers from the Scriptures rather than from other sources. When Peter turns to husbands in verse 7, he simply continues the subject of submission he began in chapter 2 and continues to the end of chapter 3. A true Christian marriage involves joy, sacrifice, commitment, love and forgiveness. Make time for 'quality time'. The question in their mind was not if divorce should occur, but only how petty the excuse would have to be to justify the divorce. The answers to these questions will dictate the meaning of the text: (1) Is Peter talking to abused husbands suffering at the hand (or mouth) of their wives? A godly husband will talk often and openly with his wife. 2. A godly husband is also loyal. The Role of a Husband in Marriage - Biblical Truths - Crosswalk Christian hope is foundational to a Christian marriage. In 2 Corinthians 4:7, Paul writes that the treasure of the gospel is contained in earthen vessels. Again, he seems to be referring to the human body.
