These days, more women are steadily making boss moves. A strong 10X Top Writer I| Contact me: adelekeyewandee@gmail.com. All of these things seem a little silly to Tom; after all, he managed just fine on his own for years. So, what domen think about successful, independent women? WebWhen men are unable to be the protector, provider, or lead it seems as though their worth as individuals diminishes. I'm actually texting her just now, what a breath of fresh air to actually know someone was attracted to me. Separations seem threatening, whether physical separations or the kind of separations that come when you realize that your new partner has his or her own thoughts, sees the world differently, and sometimes enjoys being separate from you as well as together. Men tend to avoid vulnerability because it makes them feel weak. Each persons life is changed, and being with their new love consumes their waking thoughts to the point that they want to be together all the time. She knows she can hold her own anywhere, and that there is absolutely zero reason to be frightened unless youre in physical danger. For this reason, strong women will find parnters of equal strength; the weak ones wont make it past the first few dates. What I learned from my rabbit about intimate relationships. Do you have the strength to support your woman of strength in the way she most needs it? [deleted] 8 yr. ago It is much easier for men to hide their fears of women out in the world at large than in the less guarded moments of their private lives when they are more openly themselves. People self-sabotage love for various reasons, like fear, poor self-esteem, trust issues, high expectations, and inadequate relationship skills. Many people have a difficult time accepting that a woman can do more than just cook or take care of children. From this perspective, dependency is perceived as a dangerous over-extension from the safe base of self-reliance. Society also plays a great role in reinforcing certain gender stereotypes between men and women. OR its the doe-eyed, heartbreakingly self-destructive waif who hates herself with a fervent relentlessness and we watch, teary-eyed, as she spirals into the harrowing vortex of addiction and self-abuse until the earth shattering moment an authoritative male figure magically appears in her life, by absolute happenstance, and an instant falls in love with her and peels her off the ground, saving her from the cell of herself. Regardless of how deeply she loved you, she will let you go if this happens. When you think about your friends, how far would you go to protect and help them? An independent woman doesnt hide behind the mask of false modesty. Shes not going to fold her hands and pretend she isnt extremely proud of herself for achieving something kick ass. The male ego can be added as a contributory factor because naturally, men have a stronger ego and would always want to do more than women. Having come through, she knows she can endure anything else in her path, but this kind of intensity is oftentimes difficult for a man to understand. Some men looking for women on an online dating service try to avoid dating independent women. What Men Really Think About Successful, Independent Women Men have a stronger ego than women without a doubt. Because you are uncomfortable with your own strong feelings, you, the man, begin to withdraw emotionally and detach to protect yourself. I'm talking Miss Independent - Neyo vibes. From Fear to Intimacy Why Are Men Afraid of Being Controlled by Women? Are guys intimidated by independent, self-sufficient women? A strong woman doesnt need a man to fight for her. To some extent every person wants to feel important, as though they are needed. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. DISCLAIMER: This is NOT an exact science, and there are generalizations in each category. If we ask him Among other factors, her struggles, sacrifices, and selflessness play a huge part. Why is it that some guys are scared of an independent woman? We compliment women and then are thrown, positively jarred when they reply with a thank you rather than it was nothing.. Why With the way the world is constantly changing, it has become quite evident that over the past decades, the dynamics of modern relationships are now different from what was formerly obtainable. Can you handle a strong woman in your life? WebEvery woman deserves to thrive. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. One man said to me, At first, I passed by it because I thought Im not afraid of women. But since that moment my minds been racing, thinking of the ways that can be true and has been true as far back as I remember.. WebAnother is that, because political, social, and economic pressures have exaggerated the importance of sex roles, gender has become central to most peoples sense of self-worth. Men do like independent women, but there is so much misinterpretation attached to who an independent woman actually is. While some men are reviled with the idea of an independent woman, others are not. You are either in or you are out. She can not and will not be brainwashed into thinking or feeling a certain way, especially if it's against her strong-willed code of ethics. They will have no issues setting that matter straight if they feel disrespected. Some of these skills are obtained out of necessity, but nevertheless many men find these qualities quite attractive. So whats beneath society's unwillingness to truly embrace the independent woman in a real, honest way? | All rights reserved. WebNot true. The Dark Side of Being an Independent Woman - The Good Men Although she wants to be with you, she is not scared of you to leave. WebAndrophobia is defined as a fear of men. An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. A man who may seem to be intimidated by a stronger woman is in reality may just be turned-off due to a desire or preference for the old fashioned type of girl. It is true that some people struggle with being excessively dependent in their relationships, and it is no surprise that those people would have a number of psychological problems as a result. They are equally responsible and equally stuck. I'm Still SingleIs Something Wrong with Me? The Titan Tragedy and Humanity's Obsession With Danger. Intimacy intelligence refers to our ability to create and sustain closeness with our intimate partner. Please see our Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About | Cookie Policy | Editorial Policy | Contact | Cookie Settings, Power of Positivity uses cookies to give you the most relevant experience. Some men cannot handle the emotional chaos of this type of demeanor. You guessed it! Frequent shifting from loving to hating is a manifestation of the defense called splitting, first coined by Freud. Some men cant handle this kind of unconditional love. This is scary for men. All rights reserved. Cause #2: Hes had a traumatic relationship We will dutifully teach a young girl the utmost importance of thinking for herself and making her own money, yet when she emerges into the real world as strong, powerful, freethinking force of girl nature -- we instantly alienate her. In fact, research has shown that when asked, many men have said that they prefer to date an ambitious woman that is a go-getter. Here are some reasons why many men feel threatened by independent women: Over the years, the most common response given by successful single women about their relationship status is that men get intimidated by them. Healthy relationships involve equality and mutual respect. This type of woman will follow you to the depths of hell if she knows you are committed to her. Androphobia: Definition, Symptoms, Causes, Treatment, and More Desiring partners who are about 25 percent more desirable than how we see ourselves is the norm. Men have a hard time opening up to complex questions. International Universities Press. Many women recognize that they have a lot more experience and expertise in relationships than most of their potential male partners. WebIts not a competition, and women know that, but men still feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to go against the grain Ostracism is a common experience, but one that may have surprising causes. Dont give the strong woman in your life any bogus explanations. They are either themselves independent, self-assured, and established, or they are very dependent, unsure of themselves and basically mamas-boy (looking for someone to take care of them). Men can be afraid of being inadequate Men's fears of women can be hidden but powerful. A mans ego tells him he should earn more than a woman. WebPsychologists suggest that the capacity for truly mature independence rests on the capacity for a mature dependency (Guntrip, 1969). Smart women are very much like nice guys. 4 Reasons Why Many Men See An Independent Woman As A Threat While men joke about wanting to live the bachelor's life and resenting having a woman trying to socialize them, on some level they appreciate the changes that a woman brings into their life. He needs to know that he is battling for his womans eternal love and admiration. For example, when a man talks about a woman trying to control him, he may say that she is emasculating, or a ball-breaker., The parent-child relationship: You may have noticed how much the dynamics in Tom and Nancys relationship resemble those between a parent and a child, with one partner being the adult who takes responsibility for everything and the other partner playing the role of the passive-aggressive, acting out child. Took me months to get to the point where I'd had enough before I started fighting back. 30 Morning Prayers to Start Each Day with God, 10 Ways You Can Use Sleepless Nights for Gods Glory, A Prayer for God to Turn Hearts Back to Him in America - Your Daily Prayer - July 2, 9 Points That Argue the Eternality of Hell. Be gentle with yourself as you allow yourself to grieve. If you ask Tom, or any other man, if he is afraid of being controlled by his wife/partner, he will, of course, adamantly deny it. An independent woman is courageous, shes not scared of being alone. Does Your Partner Have Too Much Power Over You? Mens Fears of Women in Everyday Life | Psychology Today Cause #1: Hes had a controlling partner in the past Cause #2: Hes had a traumatic relationship in the past Cause #3: He has unprocessed emotions or problems he hasnt dealt with Cause #4: He does not have a solid foundation Cause #5: His partner is moving too fast Cause #6: Hes accustomed to constant change Cause #7: He has a How much more, a woman who needs little from them. Things men find intimidating about Required fields are marked *. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. The New York Times You have an expensive lifestyle. Got feedback? A Novel and Efficient Way to Avoid Academic Burnout, The Nature of Language: Mishearing and Miscommunication, Dance Is a Powerful Tool for Emotional and Physical Health, You Dont Have to Follow the Same Routines Forever, New Studies Prove the Brain Is Still a Mystery, Why Some Men Withdraw When Women Get Emotional, Why Men Often Feel Insecure in Their Intimate Relationships, Spotting Emotional Immaturity in High-Conflict Personalities, The Very Best Reasons to Commit to a Relationship. You know, the ones that work hard for what they have. As the woman, you are hurt and angry. Mens struggles with dependency are what make women look excessively dependent. 7. WebMens Fears of Being Dominated and Controlled by Women The parent-child relationship. It almost feels like Nancy has taken over his apartment and she has a hidden playbook somewhere that he cant get access to. She will not wait for a man to decide if he wants her or someone better. Also, she puts herself first, her career, her health, and happiness are of utmost importance. They are gracefully climbing career ladders, taking charge of businesses, and leading in places of power. You ask if shes OK, and she insists that she is. Still, its nice to step into a clean tub when you shower or see the unwrinkled clothes that you folded and put away in the drawer. Im intelligent, Im direct, Im a successful woman, yet I cant seem to find a great guy who appreciates me.. She isnt concerned about putting her needs and judgment first when making decisions. However, we tend to consider only the problems created by excessive dependency, and not those perhaps more common difficulties created by excessive self-reliance, or the impaired capacity to be appropriately dependent. Its not easy to balance what guys should be like in the world and then get a differing interpretation in church. On the other hand, there are other men that prefer the old-fashioned Stepford housewife representation of women. Men Many independent women are self-reliant and may not need any man to take care of them. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The dissatisfaction most often starts with the woman. Whether as entrepreneurs, typical working-class women, or even as stay-at-home mums. Friends ask you at the last minute to get together and have a drink after work. Women joke about men not being a good fit off the rack and needing alteration, or about needing to train potential partners. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Granted, the person that he meets may be that type of girl, but has just had to fend for herself over the years. WebGabriel Nichols book titled Commitment Issues in Men looks at how intimidation can be one reason why men fear commitment in relationships. 2022 Girls United Summit. WebBusiness, Economics, and Finance. We all have. She isnt scared of making her own decisions. For example, research suggests that the more competent a woman is at work the less likable she is rated by the men who work there (Barkhorn, 2013). Family formation, fertility, and partnership patterns have changed drastically since the mid-1900s. When men understand what their partner is really looking for, and recognize that they want the same thing, then men are likely to be less defensive and less reactive to the coaching and prodding, and things usually go very well.
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