Everyone struggles at some point. God gives only one command directed to wives: Wives see to it that you respect your husbands (Ephesians 5:33). They stop crying, repress their emotions, and, in many cases, become self-sufficient at an early age. Being A Strong Independent Woman Doesn't Mean I Want to Do - LinkedIn They will have a small circle of friends and family that they interact with. In the workplace, theyre always in disagreement with others which makes it difficult to carry out group projects. Articles and opinions on happiness, fear and other aspects of human psychology. 2012 2023 . If you are hesitant to trust a therapist, meeting with them and asking them questions is okay until you feel comfortable talking to a specific professional. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Karl Arnold - Wikipedia Theyre impregnable and airtight. Independent Woman Syndrome - Relationship Advice Were referring to those resentful kinds of people who end up losing their opportunities to achieve enriching relationships. 451-60. She doesnt post on social media to count the number of likes she gets, and she doesnt fish for compliments when she is out with her friends. 2. She doesnt withhold the truth; she upholds the truth. Does this mean a wife should be at her husbands beck and call, ready to fulfill every desire? Because hyper-independence is connected to a lack of trust, its important to understand that your friend or family member may not easily let folks in, even if you feel they are trustworthy. Loneliness can cloud our judgment, leading us to seek companionship when its not optimal for our well-being. The work for everyone is different because the reasons that led to hyper-independence were different. Hammond says that there can be a connection between the two in that both responses involve a distrust of others. Hyper-independence is when you choose to be independent of everyone, even though it may negatively affect you. If this is the case, let someone help you. You are strong enough to know when to step back and let someone else shine in the spotlight or take the reins without compromising yourself. Hyper-independence and hypervigilance a state of being on high alert and scanning for threats around you can be trauma responses. Children who were raised to believe that not needing help was a sign of being superior and that asking for help was a sign of weakness. If youre a married woman, or a woman who one day wants to be married, you should want to know, too. Instead, an independent woman just thinks of herself as someone who is ambitious, hard-working, and self-sustaining. Dr. Michael B. Sperling is a specialist in attachment disorders. This wound from yesterday that involved a break in the affective bond with their primary caregivers often means they stop trusting others. Many women live with a certain degree of discomfort with their physical appearance, especially their bodies. Trauma Related Dissociation and Its Treatment, Tips on Spending Quality Time With Your Partner, The Link Between Cannabis and Schizophrenia, The Impact of Anabolic Steroids on the Brain, Sixteen 80s Movies for Children to Enjoy Today, Jenna Ortega: The Emotional Challenges of Being Wednesday Adams. Anything that hurts a marriage partner hurts the marriage. She doesnt shy away from people who are different from her. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. She is proactive, not reactive. Conversely, the overly independent woman has difficulty cementing ties. Hyper independence is a coping mechanism that develops as a result of negative experiences, teaching us that relying on and trusting others is not safe. She already knows she is awesome. She knows the problem wont fix itself. Besides that, you may start to notice that some things you do are causing you to become stressed. In one of his works, he emphasizes the importance of continuing to delve into how attachment disorders in childhood affect us in adulthood. Soest - The Thousand-Year Old Town That Doesn't Show Its Age The "girl of your dreams" who you and not even your friends can get enough of. She reads, keeps up with current political events, scientific discoveries, and technological inventions. Once you have started to trust people and build relationships with others, you should find that you dont have to finish all tasks by yourself. If she hears somebody making a sexist, racist, or disrespectful remark, she can calmly tell the person that the remark is offensive and not appreciated. Methods to help manage hyper-independence Psychotherapy. You deserve to trust others again and build healthy relationships. Marriage is a team sport, meant for two equal partners. Because hyper-independence is a trauma response, trauma-informed care is an important component of this treatment. Application error: a client-side exception has occurred (see the browser console for more information). Since Proverbs 31 paints a picture of an excellent wife, does that mean theres such a thing as a non-excellent wife?. Honestly, though, having an attitude of prioritizing one anothers needs, preferences and opinions didnt come naturally. Adverse childhood experiences. When it comes to a healthy diet, proper exercise, and getting enough sleep, strong women prioritize these self-care activities. Did you write her off, assuming she didn't have room in her busy life for you? All healthy relationships have a level of both dependence and independence, but when the pendulum swings too far on either side, something is amiss. 16. 7 subtle behaviours that are highly attractive to most people. Emotionally, we need to feel that others understand in order to make sense of our own experience. If you have found that you reject help and support from loved ones even when it could be beneficial, you can consider connecting with a therapist or counselor to aid in getting to the root of your trauma and developing more positive coping skills. She often has a hard time encouraging his independent interests. Why Is Hyper-Independence a Trauma Response? You are fiercely independent. Shes just looking for someone whos going to balance her out, stand as her equal, and allow her to share the life shes built up for herself. Hyper-Independence and Trauma: What's the Connection? She may name call, nitpick, or control. It can be difficult to trust others and let them in. Are some men are easier to respect than others? She knows her worth and exercises her ability to use her voice to make a change. Researchers have found that people who avoid asking for help may suffer significant social and professional costs. She doesnt engage in negative self-talk. Please do your own research before making any online purchases. 2015;49(3):354-361. doi:10.1016/j.amepre.2015.02.001, Burdick LS, Corr C. Helping teachers understand and mitigate trauma in their classrooms. This is especially true of childhood trauma. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy. , which can be stressful and may play a role in other health issues. Dr. Amy Marschall is an autistic clinical psychologist with ADHD, working with children and adolescents who also identify with these neurotypes among others. Money can trigger powerful negative emotions in relationships involving control, respect, power, inadequacy, and self-worth. This means that the body chooses behaviors based on what will keep it safest at the moment. But shewill not apologize for having something to say. How can you support a loved one who is hyper-independent? Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. They become distant, secretive, and deeply fearful. 5. Keep up with Kim on Instagram and Twitter. It may make more sense to them to do everything themselves, even if it is difficult to accomplish alone. However, like any trait, independence can be dangerous when taken to an extreme. They always make unilateral decisions and are unspeakably offended if what they suggest isnt done. Last medically reviewed on February 18, 2022. When you work with a therapist to treat hyper independence trauma, you may need treatment for PTSD or. Let them know you care about them, and you are there for them if they need to talk to someone. A dismissive woman devalues or diminishes her spouses preferences, opinions or desires. Keep reading to learn more about hyper independence and ways to lessen it if it affects you. A strong woman who is interested in physics goes for it, and those who have a love for IT dive in and learn whatever they can about technology. An independentwoman will not play games with you. Sheknows that being independent and self-sufficient doesnt mean shelacks emotions or feelings. Consider how things could look if you accepted the help you were offered. They developed the sense that they were on their own. Women tend to allow societal norms to influence the subjects that they chose to study. 1. Shejust finds playing games to be boring and a waste of time. They might believe that others cannot or will not help them, and so there is no point in seeking help or support from others. You can also work with a therapist to ease you into the process of doing this, and they may be able to provide a proper treatment plan for the underlying cause of this independence, whether it was past trauma or something else. Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater. They may have this personality trait for a number of reasons, and it might affect different aspects of their life. She is smart enough to make sure that her risks are calculated, and she doesnt rush into any compromising situations. Shedoesntnag you, but shedoes expect you to put forth your best self. 8 Ways Modern Women are Failing - Beliefnet She may fear commitment. Is There Such Thing as Being too Independent as a Woman? She may fear being controlled. We take a look at why this may be so. This trait is present in the kinds of people who always reject any type of help, who walk freely through life avoiding relational commitments, and who say they prefer solitude to any type of company. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Again, it is okay to take this process slowly, especially if you havent trusted anyone in some time. She loves this life. How many kids do you have? I asked. Because of this, they can recognize when they are not getting paid enough for the work that they are doing, and they wont hesitate to negotiate with their employer until they are satisfied with their earnings. Because our brains are wired to keep us safe and alive, we tend to hold onto survival mode long after the traumatic event has passed if we do not process it, even if it is no longer adaptive or helpful to do so. On the other hand, if you ask for help with something small and are let down, do your best to understand that this doesnt mean that everyone will let you down. Perhaps your partner doesnt talk about their feelings or ask you for help. Something else that might become obvious is that a person who is ultra-independent may stay away from certain types of people. Related: 110 Of The Most Positive, Uplifting Affirmations For Women. Everyone encounters challenges that they cannot tackle on their own, and everyone has needs that they cannot meet without some support. Fear of such situations is what orchestrates classic behavioral avoidance. In this particular case, were talking about someone who avoids relating and having friends or partners for fear of being betrayed, abandoned, hurt, etc. 10.1037/0002-9432.76.4.451. Globalization can be seen in the economy, workplace, civic institutions, community organizations, educational institutions, etc. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 110 Of The Most Positive, Uplifting Affirmations For Women, 41 Phenomenal Hobbies For Women In Their 30s, 15 Dynamite Qualities Of A Dynamic Personality, 31 Cant-Ignore Pieces Of Relationship Advice For Women, Internal Vs External Character Traits: 5 Key Differences, 11 Egregious Examples Of Stonewalling That Could Be Harming Your Relationship, Is Your Marriage Bringing You Down? However, if you claim you dont need anyone, dont know how to live with others, and avoid all kinds of relationships for fear of being hurt, this isnt simply independence. Examine where you need to become more independent in your actions, decisions, and ideas, and make small changes to reclaim your personal power. Shelldo whatever shewants, because as long as sheis having fun with you, it doesnt matter. Hyper-independence can also emerge from reluctance to trust others.
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