Thank you so much . I really dont want to think about divorce but I feel like staying with him has already affected my health and well-being. Economic downturns and job instability: Economic factors such as recessions, industry downturns, or job market fluctuations can significantly impact a husbands financial stability. He is still yet to pay the bank loan debts from last year February which he got by using fake documents. We read the word, we stay on the promises and trust that we will overcome, its just that I am stressed beyond the word that everytime I have to ask for money from my sister or mother to help out through the month, Hi Kay, I wrote you a longer letter, but it got deleted. I just never seem to be good enough for her. It really makes the relationship very sour. She may need to take on additional financial responsibilities or explore alternative sources of income. He is a very, very, prideful man and does NOT like a woman to tell him anything or what to do. I feel like I am a door mate and so tired of it.. I read your blog when I got time after work and your always coming Pls my is obstinate ,disrespectful and is not in anyway contributing to peace at home due to her own mother is poisoning her mind.working cannot contributing to the family.what do I do?. Hi Nancy, it is interesting that you say this because here is one I sent out this last week to a man. We are getting divorced because I cannot take it anymore. In fact, you are not to give up on praying to Him. This has been going on now for 3yrs maybe 4. Hi Cj, Thank you for writing, but you have not told me much about your spiritual life. As it said you cant divorce except for sexual immorality. Please help with advice because I have thought several times, even though I love home very much that I want to divorce himi have not told him this yet. Only God can change a person though. I am also in the same shoes as Lola This is easy to say, but another thing to actually do it, as you know. My wife is strongly wants to cut back to part-time to spend time w/ our daughters. What kind of emotional and financial support system does the wife have? 14. Now, it is wrong of your husband not to pay the bills, the Bible says that a person who doesnt care for his family is worse than the unsaved. He struggles with the fact he cant provide. P.S. Thank you so much for the advice and the prayers. Im terrified of splitting up and what it would do to my children. There was a stillness in my home that I cannot explain. If we dont have the funding he should work, right? God will help you as you fellowship with others and study His Word at church. I have not been the perfect husband by any means. Another pastor and myself are working with a lady right now, that has been abandoned by her husband, but she is seeking the Lord with all her heart. My husband told me before marriage that his parents lived with him, he owed the house. He is stuck in habits are not good, and not the way God intended. 13 And a woman who Now his still at home looking for a JOB but nothing. My wife who works for her father with a great job in his IT firm doesnt fully understand the process of finding a job and thought it should be relatively quick and easy, which it wasnt. Brother Gary and Sister Marlene, Gary, I have worked very hard, I worked sometimes 14 15 hours a day while my wife went to nursing school. 4. We are Christians. Even when times are difficult due to financial, emotional, or physical challenges, a husbands personal You need to find someone that is poorer than you and start helping them. My husband is forever telling me how much he loves me, is this not part of love, to provide for the ones you love? It is crucial for both spouses to seek support from trusted friends, family, or professional resources to help maintain a strong partnership and work through the challenges together. My husband and mother in law are also Christians. Rather than approaching this topic with judgment or blame, the aim is to foster empathy, understanding, and support for couples facing such challenges. She loves God and never blames God for her problems. Get back to me as soon as you can, Brother Gary. I am fairly new with my walk with God vs how long he has been and his knowledge of the Word of God. There is nothing wrong with a woman working to help support the family. You are providing for the family with 2 jobs, PLUS cooking cleaning and caring for the kids. She is also easily influenced by her mom and family. It reflects the husbands commitment to loving his wife sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church and created an atmosphere of trust, security, and unity. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Cor. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. See what you think about what she said here. Brother Gary. I am falling deeper and deeper into a depression. I tried to get my licence so that I can get a promotion at work, but he says he is afraid I will get killed in a car if I have a licence. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and he hasnt saved up anything to cater for the hospital bill. 7. Foundation Seven: Financial Faithfulness In Marriage Hello Jamel, You dont need to get a divorce. God says a man that wont (not cant) provide for his family is worse than an infidel. We are Christians and I have given my life to my husband and three boys. Brother Gary. Hi Keisha, I understand that you love God and are living for Him, but now we need to get your husband on board. What do I do?! You might be thinking how could anyone forgive such people, or how could I? He recently told me he hopes that I die before him so he can piss and shit on my grave. I used to think Think of how many godly women have given themselves to God even when it hurt, even if no one else went with them. This primarily means he is to provide spiritual leadership Ephesians 5:25-28), provide the financial needs for his family Answer: A divorce should never be our first solution when we have a problem in our marriage. Now, you have to pray much, as you have been doing, you need the support of your family and friends, since the church where you are going is not giving this. I stayed but asked him to return so that we amend our marriage, he said he got a contract to work there in the country he is doing missions, when i asked for the contract he said its confidential. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. It is a holy union and partnership between a man and his woman. When I confronted him about it, he denied it and hit me. Then when they turn back to God, and follow the triangle toward God they will find their marriage improving. This man was always in and out of work and it was always the other employees fault and he blamed it on the management all the time. If you are both Christians, you need to pray together to solve the problems. I will continue to pray. He went back to the mission field and our marriage was already damaged by lies regarding money and the affair incident. I felt attacked, the pastor asked me questions as if am the irresponsible one and accuser. If you really want her back I believe you will need to actually leave and woo her all over again. I shared this in my twitter and my friends love it! Sounds like the mother-in-law is the culprit here and the daughter, Judes wife, has no backbone. So whats hers is his, AND whats his is his also. He has been with you 27 years. This may include seeking part-time employment, starting a side business, or leveraging skills and talents to generate extra income. He had no job and was relying on my father to find a job for him. We eventually lost Of course I made some mistakes everyone does. I have a similar story but my husband has gained 200 pounds in 2 years and his health is impacted accordingly. Another issue is the continual abuse being done over the telephone. If we truly want to follow God, then divorce should not even be in our vocabulary. Thank you, Then we both ended up teaching. The question as to whether the husband cannot provide for his wife being a basis for divorce-the answer is clear-it is not a reason for divorce!! I need sound advice. I am in the same situation as Lola, worse part is that my husband and I are pastoring a church and at the same time im still in varsity. The goal posts keep changing in their favour. He is hardly concerned and always has excuses. He did not express these things before marriage but made every excuse to why waiting to work would benefit us and saying it ia hard for him to find a job because of his previous record. You need to get serious about Gods will for your life and marriage. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. By Lawrence Hurley. Until that time comes, I can only continue to pray for him and that my boys dont grow up to be the same man as their father. I need help! I am in a situation now i Dont know what to do. He can also have the bible open sitting on his lap using cuss words on me. Answer:A divorce should never be our first solution when we have a problem in our marriage. Sounds like you may need to get a divorce and get on with your life. 2 The Pharisees came and asked Him, Is it lawful for a man to divorcehiswife? testing Him. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. God loves you! You need to be in the Word (Bible) reading and meditation every day. It is my choice to divorce and i struggle with the spiritual side of it. Christian Husband Not Providing Financially: Biblical Remedy Trusting in Gods sovereignty means having faith that He will provide for our needs according to His perfect plan and timing, even when facing financial challenges. We are currently going through a court case where he borrowed money and was unable to pay back. Butyou have not addressed the real issue. Seeking wise counsel and financial planning: Proverbs 15:22 reminds us of the importance of seeking wise counsel in decision-making. Are We Too Financially Unstable to Get Married? | Desiring God You both need to be willing to move. However, the complexities of modern life and shifting societal dynamics can present challenges that may affect a husbands ability to fulfill these expectations, particularly in the realm of financial provision. Trusting in Gods provision, stewarding resources responsibly, and embracing sacrificial love create a solid foundation for couples as they work together to overcome financial difficulties. Pray for him, but you have to get him talking and explaining why he is not concerned about the family. Both spouses should actively contribute to the financial well-being of the family, leveraging their individual skills, abilities, and resources. If you dont want to save your marriage, keep going the way you have been going. Then I told him I need to go to church, he says I just go for my friends. refuse to negotiate. I never had an issue paying majority of the bills since I make the most money and his only responsibility is to pay the mortgage and his car note. Hi Mary, You have a Merry Christmas too. The husband should not divorce his wife (1 Cor. Tell him that you believe it is a spiritual problem in his life, that he needs to get right with God. God has said to do this, so if your husband says not to go, he is wrong. It may be too late, but with the Lord there is always hope. Please write back right away. This will possibly be a wake-up call to the marriage partner that there needs to be some serious changes made. This is because the Christian husband is a man who a. The Role of the Husband in a Christian Marriage - What Christians It encompasses the husbands responsibility to meet the familys basic needs, contribute to household expenses, and ensure stability and security for all members. Because Ive been holding on & hoping & praying & carrying all this weight & unhappiness on my shoulders for years already.is it really worth my continued stress & unhappiness when he shows NO effort??? We dont just kick them to the curb, we try to give them good godly counselling Work together as a team to set realistic goals, create a plan, and take steps toward achieving those goals. 11 And such were some of you. Im thinking of asking my husband to leave. Cultivating an environment of grace and support: Instead of placing blame or engaging in judgment, it is crucial to cultivate an environment of grace and support within the marital relationship. [If this is a friend you are speaking of, what God confirms in her heart, as to what she feels He is saying to her.]. Dear Abiodun, Hi, here is how I answered Lola: Dear Lola, Hi, why isnt he working? Will ask God for help? I am a Christian and he goes to church too. I have to work to pay for mortgages, HOA fees, insurance, property tax, expenses for our dog which he wanted to get, yet I have to ask him for money each week to help out and he either ignores me or goes on a tirade about me asking for help? What if you were disabled what would you want him to do for you? 2023 BibleVersesNow.com Designed by Freshword Media . We will keep praying and you stay in the Word everyday and prayer. Hi Maryanne, You have some good advice. We do pray. If so maybe you need to change those expectations to come up to modern days, where the women work and men stay at home more. He will work with me but wont push and work his as well. 3. Then too, you need to be willing to go back to work. Our house is now in foreclosure and he barely pays his car note. Dont trust him at this point because he has lied so much. Our rent is 5,000, if i get 3,000 from him as his contribution, it is a miracle. I cant let my husband see me upset or well fight, and I cant let my mom see that Im upset, because shell kick my husband out; and I cant be upset in front of my kids because they are too young to carry the burden. I have never seen the fruits of his labor. Lord knows I cant talk to family and friends, theyll think Im crazy! You feel things about the other person, probably the way it is supposed to be, the way God intended. As it feels that you carry the load of the family all alone including paying house rent, school fees for three children and taking care of food in the house and of yourself as well What a burden and now and lack of joy and home I dont even what to see him! It acknowledges that unforeseen circumstances, economic downturns, health issues, and other factors can affect a husbands ability to provide for his family. We are both Christians but I have never been more in touch with my faith. It sounds like you are not getting that from your husband. I will keep praying for you. It all seems so easy to him, as if the grass is greener on the other side, but aside from not being able to afford a move, I refuse to move and be hungry and homeless in a strange land. We will be praying, Gary and Marlene Panell. Dear Lola, Hi, why isnt he working? Is not that the man of the homes job ? For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. (1 Corinthians 11:27-31) Hi Rose, Thank you for your comments and question. His ministry first and foremost is you and the children. I asked him to at-least pay rent and thats all he did. He wants to move out of state but has no plan on how he would provide. Better questions to help her, was he always that way. 7:10, 11, ESV). Brother Gary and Sister Marlene, This is really an interesting piece. Write when you can. So please just pray for me. Is he disabled too? We have never had a joint account and at present I can say we are separated cos I have no idea where he is. Both of you need to get before the Lord, on your face in prayer if need be. Promoting open communication and understanding: Open and honest communication is essential in navigating financial challenges within a marriage. Then you need to speak to your husband what God has told you, or if he is sensitive to the Holy Spirit, he may hear from the Lord himself. When Your Husband Doesn't Provide What You Need (17 Ways To I mentioned to him that if he moves I consider it a divorce because I dont want to allow him to open this door of taking breaks/moving out in our marriage, he said its ok. During our talk I asked what went wrong he said all he wanted was peace and a quite person, he didnt mention anything about himself that caused us to be where we are, again I felt like he blames me for everything happening and is not willing to look within. Your argument is not with me, but with God. Hi P, God loves you and has seen everything that has happened to you. Is he saved? Ministry wife, Hello Sister, Pray for his salvation. Eph 6: 10 18. Answer: Weigh what we say with the Word of God [the Bible], and with what He is saying to you personally. My husband has stopped paying bills at home. Balancing expectations and adjusting roles: Financial challenges may require the wife to adjust her expectations and redefine her role within the marriage. You Can Trust Jesus with All Areas of Your LifeIncluding Finances. He does NOT listen and respect his familys views. Also, the way he is acting makes you wonder where he is spiritually, because he certainly is not acting like Christ. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. I told him he needs to find something doing that this cannot go on like this. Ive confronted him many times about this and he still hasnt changed. Also, dont give up on God and prayer. Is it really worth it to hold on to our marriage hoping he will step up and be the man our family needs him to be? She poured her heart out to us, and we reminded her of Jesus Model prayer and right after that He says if you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. Hi Dee, It seems that a separation is a good thing at this point. I find it hard to respect him and I am becoming very resentful. You may end up telling him, if this keeps going the way it is going, Im going to have to move out and separate from you until you are right with God. I just dont know what to do.. He has called and harassed [his] wife and daughter on the phone several times with threats etc. Bible say about handling money in a marriage I am married 18 years. I was on medication for anxiety earlier this year and my blood pressure is often up, he said why am I sick, I must enjoy life. He says hes not closing and will continue to use his paycheck to pay bills at a business thats not taking care of him financially. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Eventually, you will end up with a nervous breakdown. The Bible is clear that the Christian wife is to be the keeper of the home (Titus 2:3-5) 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Do it soon do it now ! I hate him for real 17 years of marriage and he has never been productive, Hi Dora, it sounds like you could use fellowship with a good Bible believing church, if you dont have one. What should a Christian wife do if her husband is not the head of No one would expect a parent to ignore a child or neglect to discipline him as he turns furniture over or smears paint on a wall just to get his way. This mother and daughter also need to attend and get involved in a good Bible believing churchone where people care about them and will surround them with love and understanding. Exactly what god said the husband is to provide!!! Educational or skill limitations: Educational or skill limitations can hinder a husbands career prospects and earning potential. Husband See what God says to you after praying about it. God bless you. Supreme Court rules for web designer who refused to work on Do you go to a good Bible believing church? I am hard worker and most of my adult life I have worked two and three jobs including the cleaning, groceries, cooking, laundry, running the kids to all their activities etc. People have free will because of God, and some will do wrong. Marriage is a sacred union, and for Christian couples, it holds even deeper significance as they strive to build their lives based on faith, love, and shared values. You need to see a connection between his drinking and his job performance. Back when he got me pregnant, I learned a month after that he got another woman pregnant. I get so angry watching him sleep and hearing him snore. Hi Caronica, I wouldnt support this type of thing. Why would he work if your his provider? I would so appreciate some advice on this situation. In the mean time, it is not wrong for you to live away from him, but pray much about this. I am the sole provider of the home. Blessings to you women who truly try, and trust in Christ, including the men as well! He wants to help, but you have to give Him your all and trust Him as never before. Christian Man does not work and provide for his family? What shall I do? Recognizing this uniqueness allows for empathy and a more constructive approach to addressing the issue. When facing financial challenges, seeking advice from trusted mentors, financial advisors, or experienced individuals can provide valuable insights and guidance. Your wife is trying to give you a wake up call. Usually, we find out that either the husband or wife is not saved, (a Christian) or either one or both are not living for the Lord. Financial planning, including budgeting, saving, and managing debt, can help couples regain financial stability and set a course for a better future. Do not be deceived. No matter what he does, we continue in the hole. Although,my husband does not work,& has not had a steady income in almost 8 years. Do you have a job? Evidently, you have been asleep at the wheel for sometime. 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32), Jesus is again asked to address the issue of divorce: The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife forjustany reason?, 4 And He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who madethemat the beginningmade them male and female,5 and said,For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, andthe two shall become one flesh ? The wife has left him over and over again and still went back because of their baby. This story illustrates very well how God through Jesus death on the cross has paid our full debt, which is way beyond what we could every pay for our sins. At times he is mentally and emotionally abusive to me and one of the reasons he is no longer living with us is because he became aggressive and would become very angry a couple of times he slammed my son and saw him pick my daughter up and shake her angrily. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate., 7 They said to Him, Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away? 8 He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Christian Please help! I have always invited him to family functions and he always has an excuse why he did not make it. After this meeting my husbands behavior worsened. Joseph listened to God instead of just taking matters into his own hands and doing what a normal man would do. He has no business going without doing it in Gods time, and Gods way. In this article, we delve into the sensitive issue of a Christian husband not providing financially and seek to shed light on the various factors that may contribute to such circumstances. I dont know what to believe anymore. You brother in Christ, Gary Panell. Are you praying and reading your Bible every day? Hes unrepentant and if he has money in his pocket its his and he wont lift a finger to help her. Aylzza, To be honest with you, we dont believe in divorce except for immorality, like Jesus said. I dont want to go to counseling because I am afraid that if our Pastor finds out that he is not fulfilling his duties as a Christian man, he will not let my husband serve in the church and honestly I think that is the only thing keeping him together. Gloria, here is another letter that Marlene wrote about marriage problems. With no work he still insisted we get people to wash the cloths and car and I had to pay for from the little I made. Brother Gary. I feel lost, judged and without any wisdom. If a person is saved, then they need to be in church growing spiritually. She needs people she can just talk to who will listen to her without judgment or even advice at times. I feel like Im raising everyone and we do not see eye to eye on anything. I sure hope his gaining weight is not an issue, because Im sure you werent that skinny either. So often a person who made a mistake the first time in their marriage will jump into something as bad or worse the second time, if they dont seek Gods face. Thank you for helping me, I will continue to pray and I just wanted to share this with you all. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you? And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. Encouraging spouses to share their perspectives, concerns, and aspirations fosters an environment where both partners can understand each others viewpoints and work towards mutually beneficial solutions. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. You do not have to be walked on by your husband. He may do this because his wife I pray and fast I led people to Christ. WebPaul is not suggesting that if a man fails to provide for his family that he's in danger of losing the gift of righteousness or that the holy spirit would abandon him. A person should not stay where there could be harm done to themselves or their children in an abusive situation. Forgiveness is key, no matter what, but it sounds like Jude needs more practical advice, backed up by scripture, or he may lose even more ground in his family. Additionally, the shifting dynamics in the relationship may create emotional distance or strain if not effectively addressed. But the woman is condemned when she falls short in any one of her NUMEROUS duties.
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